success pending :)

so why didn’t i feel it T.T….all i want is to FEEL a freakin earthquake for ONCE in my life. 

So my friend Susie Jacobs was bored during class one day and she doodled on my other friend Kira Alemania’s arm. She drew this thingy that looked like steel wool & wrote something (but not exactly) like, “Jump first…” something something something. The fact that she drew a chunk of what looked like steel wool on Kira’s arm has nothing to do with what I want to say right now. 

The point is this: “Jump first”

If you scroll down, you’ll see that back in April 2008 I had revealed my “secret dream” haha…I went to college for a quarter to study psychology. But after a quarter I realized that if I continued to walk the path that I was on, I would always be happy enough. Happy enough. Honestly though…I don’t want enough. I want more. I want my life to be more than what people, statistics, or money say it can be and by walking away from psychology and pursuing my dream, I know I will (not can) be. MORE. than happy. 

Back to the quote. Jump first. I’m doing just that right now. Music…dreams…SIGHH, I mean sure it’s like taking off your sandals on a hot summer day and choosing to walk on dirty asphalt rather than the cool sidewalk. But in the end…okay well for this particular analogy there is no other ending than you in massive pain. What I’m trying to say is that I’M GOING FOR IT! 

Everyone else out there who’s hesitating, just jump. It may be the most exhilarating, exciting, and rewarding experience of your life. :]

It’s been a while since I’ve been comfortable with my life. I didn’t realize it at first, but for the past month and a half or so I feel like I’ve been drifting so far from You…homework builds up, and time is flying by me, but i get lazier, i get more and more apathetic. Didn’t even see that happening to me then all of a sudden, stop. I take a step back and look at my life right now…what a mess. It’s as if I’ve grown numb to the Word and all of my praises and all of my prayers and all of me is hollow. empty. lost. Sin has been creeping into my life; I would become quick to anger and impatience, unlike You, who are so holy and faithful. While I was busy neglecting You and denying You, You were constant, never-changing, ever loving, ever forgiving. I don’t understand You! How the heck do you do that, God? Just keep loving and forgiving a sinner like me? I, one who is so wretched, so wicked, and proud, can hurt You, curse Your name, reject Your peace and yet…how do you do that? Teach me to love like You. To forgive those who don’t deserve forgiveness. To forgive myself. To be humble. To be faithful in all things. To never let go of You like that again. I hate that I’ve been hurting You when all You have been doing is loving me. Blessing me! Jesus, You’re blessings are like blows to the head. There’s so much love, so much grace, in the midst of my sin. How do you do that? How is that a God like You can love a sinner like me? Father, You’re love is “amazing, steady and unchanging”. No matter how far I am, You always hold on to me. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You! For loving a sinner like me.

Coming Restoration (Isaiah 10:24-34)

“God’s discipline is always motivated by love and carried out in love. It is not the result of spontaneous emotionalism, but patient wisdom. Go’ds desire is to restore, not destroy. The strong language used in this passage against the assyrians and other nations shows just how much God hates evil. Sin has no regard for life and leaves a trail of carnage in its never ending desire to destroy. It will use whatever tactic, persons or resources available to wreak havoc. It is never satisfied. If it has successfully destroyed your hob, your reputation, and your family, yet you still have your health, it will not rest until it takes that from you as well. Sin hates life. But God hates sin even more. THis is why such a strong language is used here against the nations that represent a  sin-filled lifestyle. God’s desire is to crush sin and destroy its power over us. He hates how it has intimidated, oppressed and enslaved His people, especially when He has set them free.

…

In v.27, He promises that their burdens will be lifted…Basically, God is saying that His people will once again be restored. They will be so filled with God’s blessing and Spirit that noting will be able to hold them down. His people may be dry and their souls may appear hopelessly withered, but a time of restoration is coming. To those who see themselves as invincible and immortal before God, will see how easyily they can fall. The power of sin that appears like an immovable force in our lives will find itself bare and tame.

No one likes to be humbled and reminded that we’re simply uman. But God reassures his people that a time of resoration will come. We don’t need to fret that God isn’t there. He is and He will make things right in His perfect timing. But as well all know, this harder done than said. The waiting, in patient hope, is th ehard part. This is why we’re given a community that we may spur each other on to do good works unti lthe day of Christ Jesus. God never meant for this journey to be made alone. One of the dangers we face when we’re being umbled, is the desire to hide from other until things bget better. But that’s exactly what the evil one desires…to isolate and destroy. We need to pull otgether without being judgmental so that the reality of God’s power and might feels closer to home when we feel most distant from the hope of restoration.”

-from “Living Life”, April 2008

James 4:6 (thanks Jon!)

“But he gives more grace.That is why Scripture says:

God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

God’s love is abundant and given to us if we ask Him of it. Let’s pray!

James 4:13-16

“Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”

I hear You, Jesus. Resoration has come. Thank You, Lord for your mercy and love! I LOVE YOU!

i wanna become a korean celebrity but not for the reasons may think.

secret.

what i really want to do with my life :]

it’s NOT EASY. i love everyone. seriously, sometimes i wish everyone could just be lovely and nice and wonderful towards each other and that everyone would love one another simply and easily. all smiles, all day, everyday. but that’s soooo not how the world works and i feel like each day is a challenge of my faith and my ability to love the people who are close to me.

i am human. i loose patience. i get hurt. we never fight. loving is hard when you don’t feel like you received much but negativity in return. but i’m going to keep trying. i give up. keep on loving. keep on praying. have patience, my heart. pleaseeee.

 “Love is patient, love is kind, love does not envy, it does not boast. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres. ” -1 corinthians 13:4-7

if i have hurt you brother, i ask of your forgiveness. we clash. we understand each other. there was once a time when i thought we were so alike and so in tune with each other’s lives, but as we grow older i feel like i see more and more differences and potential injuries in our friendship. but you are my friend and my brother nonetheless, and i dont think there is any other solution to our conflicts other than to forgive and forget. love and move on. let’s heal together and love together okay?

it’s hard, i know. sometimes i don’t want to. but let’s keep loving.

okay buddy? :]

against my head.

it hurts.

wake up.

My older friend, Q proposed to my pastor’s sister, Sarah on Sunday! :] i helped him decorate the sactuary for the big surprise, along with other church members. I had to leave early so i MISSED THE ACTUAL PROPOSAL, but i’m sure it was beautiful. how beautiful it is, a marriage waiting to happen.

i love Love.

 if only there was a skip button for my life.

wake up.

idontwannadoenglishhomeworkidontwannadoenglishhomework

idontwannaidontwannaidontwanna

lalalalalalalalaaaaa~

:]

fail.